‘Maid’ for each other!

Yesterday was just another usual day until I sat with my copy of TOI in the morning. Usually, my Sunday routine is different from other days, since newspaper will get in front of me only later in the day, post partaking in the church communion. But, the day started taking a ‘U’ turn from the time my eyes caught one of the first page headlines. - An article on the welfare of maids and also on the resolution getting tabled at ILO today, for the sake of ‘maids’. So far so good, the article is a time pass read. But, it starts and ends there. No further value could be seen in these initiatives. The title was also thought provoking, ‘Maid to Order’. Indeed true. Or rather, very very true, I should say. While I had been reading the same, it happened with a big shatter. I saw my wife rushing to kitchen and just realized that a precious vase which we had carried all the way from abroad just slipped from our maid’s hand to be part of history.

How many accounts can each of us cite, which has a ‘maid’ in the story which had made life miserable. But, that part remains with the friends circle only, since the society always looks at the same as bourgeois culture where the poor suffering ‘maid’ is blamed by the lady of the house, without humane considerations. I feel laughing at these sorts of sentiments. Yes, we had all seen maids at our households earlier. But, is that the same story in these years. I prefer to differ here. At least in majority of Indian cities now, a major reason for a discomfort in a home atmosphere is obviously because of the most important lady in modern life – the maid. The problem could be many : want of a maid, maid being made to only rule and not work, maid going on leave for weeks altogether without any news, maid damaging all your priceless processions etc etc. But, the end story is the man and woman of the house hardly gets time to talk, families find themselves in turbulent waters and kids starting to pick up irritating mannerisms from maids!!!

To go little further into the topic : I had a personnel experience when one of the maids employed by my wife shouted back at my wife’s face when she was questioning on why the maid was eavesdropping into our bedroom by silently positioning herself against our closed doors. It was interpreted as the blind eye towards the rights of the proletariat class in hiding behind a door to listen to her employer. Oh God! I am not taking time to mention all the numerous issues I had seen, even though I choose myself to be an ignorant man in all these household stuff. But, it started pinching me when I learned that my wife started getting headache on a regular basis and had started on a daily dose of analgesics only because of the talks she used to have with her maid!

Another memory which comes to my mind is of a firsthand experience from one of my friends where the maid started the habit of looking down at the household’s choice of food items. According to this maid, all what was cooked at that home was cheap food (grass, vegetables etc) and not even dogs in the maid’s khaandaan ever tasted such food. He was wondering why such high class people come out as house maids! The anti climax for the story is that the maid had trouble using the European closets in the house and she ended up making the guest bathroom smelling foul all through the day. And, the issue remained beyond question, since it was the employer’s invasion into the privacy of the employee!

These accounts can go on and on. But, for no point at all. We, the people who run the race in these cities to make a living, will remain forever as bourgeois and those ladies who come out of their house for eating the peace of other households becomes the ‘poor suffering class’ housemaids. If they had damaged your $1000 worth crystal vase, even after multiple words of caution, do keep smiling and politely ask them to be careful next time. Else, there are associations and the entire entire world out there to question, if you raise your voice! My thought is, feel thankful to God that you didn’t had another vase, for the next maid to go experimenting with the thrill!

I have read Antonia Fraser saying “Lives in previous centuries for women are largely a matter of class. It would have been fun to have been a rich, privileged woman in the 18th century, but no fun at all to be her maid “. Sad that she didn’t see the state as of now. I would like to rephrase as “Lives in 21 centuries for women are largely a matter of management. It would have been ecstasy to be a maid in a working-couple household, but no fun at all to be her lady employer”

Moving on, the major thought for me to key-in these thoughts are not just because of the maids. But, there is a different class of people who live in the name of maids. They are basically the agencies. Rather Housemaid agencies who offer their services to help you find a domestic help. No fancy details, but a plan statement I want to make here is that 99% of such agencies are nothing but fraudulent. Having said that, let me be more specific, since I don’t want to generalize something which I am not sure of. I would like to supplement my comment with a disclaimer that 99% of such housemaid agencies from Kerala and in Bangalore are fraudsters. This is my first hand experience. I know that in case any of the genuine people who are in this business happen to see this post, they may feel bad. But, I do acknowledge that they are the very few exceptions (1%) who can be classified as the rare species on the brink of extinction.

If you open any of the leading Malayalam dailies, you will see at least half a dozen ads from these housemaid service agencies. I usually think about myself as a cautious enough guy who finds the trap ahead and moves away from the same. But, sometime back, I too had an experience where there ultra modern sophisticated manpower consultant agencies from god’s own country (being from Kerala, I wonder who dreamt of this name) made a fool out of myself. Not because I consider myself smart, but, after enquiring about the whereabouts of one of such agency, I think it needs to be voiced. At least someone else, who bother to Google the detail as (s)he hear, will be saved.

This fellow’s name is Reji Philip and he is from one of the remote locations of Kerala, named Kaithapoyil, which is a small town 40 Kms away from Calicut. He runs a so called housemaid agency, according to the honorable Kerala government labour department. This essentially means he has a certificate which has been issued by the gov which covers him legally to place ads in newspapers all around the world. Not a thing more.

Scene 1 : Now, the devil is out in prowl. You see the ad in your newspaper. And, the obvious preys are working-couples in major cities of India, who are desperately looking for domestic help. You/Your wife call this number (which is mentioned as Kairali Enterprises, Kaithapoyil, in the news paper) and the master of cheats, Mr. Reji answers. He is so polite, extremely professional and appreciatively committed, as you speak. He collects your requirements in a housemaid religiously and then promises you to find a suitable person within days.

Scene 2 : Within couple of days you will get a call back, assuring that the best maid ever found on the globe is now available for an employment and you are lucky enough to get this person now, which was just accidental. Your call gets re-directed to the maid, who just reminds you everything what you had placed as the requirement and adds something more as her responsibility. You feel stunned and relived (remembering all your bitter experiences with earlier maids who had been recruited by your wife, your mom, your wife’s mom, your friend’s wife, your aunt etc etc).

Scene 3: Enter Mr. Reji Philip again, the good Samaritan. He is taking the trouble of going to the ticket reservation counter himself, since you are badly in need. Wow ! You enquire more about his whereabouts and he says near Calicut. You check with your contacts in Calicut and realize that no one in the entire country would want to travel all the way to this place, to enquire about him. This is where you will get dejected. You decide to drop the plan. Now, Mr Reji calls you again. Says, the maid’s ticket is confirmed for tomorrow evening. You voice your doubts and there you get 2 options.

Option 1 : Trust me and get this person. You can never get a better maid in life

Option 2 : I will send my staff along with the maid. After you see the maid in your house, make the payment.

You again get reminded of the troubles faced by your wife and the pinching need to have someone babysit your kids at least till the time you get back from office. You make a choice from the above options.

Scene 4.1 : Consider you chose Option1 and make a transfer/deposit of the amount to his account. You get a confirmation call tomorrow that Mr Reji has happily got the money and your maid has started enroute to the city. You and your wife sleep peacefully for the night, thinking maid problem will be solved from tomorrow onwards

Scene 5 to 500 : That good maid, who understood you perfectly fails to reach your city. How much ever you try, she will not reach. You will never get a chance to talk to her again. First few months you will be forced to listed to Mr. Reji Philip’s family problems - His wife suffering from STD, Kids suffering from cancer, Parents suffering from alzhimers and he himself suffering from heart ailments. Now you feel sorry to have disturbed him at hospital to ask for services OR for your money. Later, he will stop picking up your calls. You try to enquire. Spent more money for asking someone (or you yourself) to travel till this place which is at the end of world – to realize that Mr. Reji is having lot of fun

Scene 4.2 : Consider you chose Option2. In few days an old man and a lady lands at your door. You end up paying more, even for the escort’s full day expenses and make the settlements. After 2 days, the maid will leave. Reasons are many – she gets a call (and you get a call from Mr. Reji) that her grandmother has expired, the maid finds it hard with the climate change, your wife becomes more irritant since the maid finds time to only sit and eat her head (the story repeats) etc etc. You end up booking tickets for the maid, as assured by Mr. Reji that the replacement has already embarked on her journey to reach your door tomorrow. You have to pack off this person since the last thing your wife wants maybe to make these two devils meet. Here onwards the story is same. The replacement fails to reach your home.

Scene 5-500 repeats : First few months you will be forced to listed to Mr. Reji Philip’s family problems - His wife suffering from STD, Kids suffering from cancer, Parents suffering from alzhimers and he himself suffering from heart ailments. Now you feel sorry to have disturbed him at hospital to ask for services OR for your money. Later, he will stop picking up your calls. You try to enquire. Spent more money for asking someone (or you yourself) to travel till this place which is at the end of world – to realize that Mr. Reji is having lot of fun

Now, the climax. This is scene O

Scene 0 : Mr. Reji Philip hires a lady staff, to attend telephone calls. She is ‘the maid’ for each and every enquiry which comes to him. He also has an agreement with a husband (the guy is his driver also) and wife there who can visit those people who chose Option 2. This lady becomes ‘the maid’ for them for 2 days. Picture perfect business! Mr Reji is happy because he is making a very good living with all pleasures of life. His expenses are couple of mobile connections ( +91 9656635707 & +91 9605557716 ), few frequent ads in newspapers and salary for 2 staff and another one staff on contract basis. Mr. Reji’s family is happy, that the son/husband doesn’t need to travel out of God’s Own Country to make a living and they get to eat to heart’s content on other’s hard earned money.

And You ! You will be thinking about that time/day when you did the mistake of making the payment to Mr. Reji’s account (Account Number : 0530053000000808; Name : Reji Philip ; Bank Name : South Indian Bank ; Branch Name : Kodencherry, Kerala State, INDIA ; Account Type : Savings) thinking about all the earlier troubles your house had with maids !

To summarize, we all understand that ‘maid’ is the problem in most of the families. But, before you raise your hands to surrender to the call of housemaid agencies, just remember that there is hundreds of Reji Philips out there, whose only intention is to cheat you.