It had been a while since I sat to key-in my thoughts for the blog and I am definitely not happy about the same. It just happened so, where my mind went clock-ticking with a buffer-overflow of many things and I had to keep myself out of these little things I love to do, through these days. Not that I am promising to be a regular on my favorite blog table, but I promise to be better for sure.
Enough with the prelude and this time around I want to share an account of one of the very best experiences I have had in my life. I would like to describe it as ‘the strange power of people’ and it just means talking about those intense, colorful, passionate, fun-filled, humbling , inspiring and cherished one and a half days I had, few weeks back.
It all started with a visit to my elder brother’s place where we got an invite for a first Holy Communion function, from Chechi’s brother. It was just another invitation for a family function and since I had missed couple of them earlier I made up my mind to make for this one. Off-late I have become a person who avoids big gatherings of relatives, as much as possible, since I had found it disgusting to see all those elders trying to poke their nose into anything and everything in my life. Moreover, being the un-disputed title-holder of being the most outspoken, insensitive and irreverent one in the family circle, I seriously enjoyed being only in smaller and closer groups. Above all, for me being consciously away from big gatherings, my family had started losing all those fun times and it made me decide to attend this event for sure.
Then came this day, and I could see myself stepping into a much different world all together. Chechi’s family was BIG…and I mean it. Big with a capital B, I & G. They were six siblings and I knew about it. But, a house with all of them, their kids (teens to toddlers) and cousins were little different than my expectation. Now, to talk about my expectation: My grandfather too had seven kids and my father happened to be the youngest of the lot. All through my childhood, whenever we had family re-unions, I felt about the same as more a convention than a reunion. Being one of the youngest of the big group of kids, I felt about the big-bully elder brothers and mommy-ish elder sisters as more trouble than good. The last thing I wanted was to have a house full of people who take turn to make you obey to their commands. To be frank, I loved only very few of them, by my heart & therefore, here I am, one of the stand-out disobedient in the entire family of second generation! Now, back to present. I set my foot inside to a home where all (yes, I mean all. Right from the parents, the siblings, their spouses and all kids) we seated in a big hall to have food. It reminded me of the big fat greek wedding and my mind aimlessly wandered to those family reunions of my childhood. We never had eaten together. My grandfather always ate at his regular time and no one dared go and trouble him. My parents, uncles and aunts ate at their own sweet time and we (the smaller kids) were fed as a group at the table by our own mothers or one of those mommy-ish sisters or aunts. I don’t count it as a difference of culture. But more that it was the norm of those years. Even family relations were kept with definite honor and pride. One will never crack an adult joke to your uncle and it was treated as a mandate of treasured culture. I still see that my dad’s voice become softer (and sometimes he even gets up from the seat) when his eldest brother is on phone. Not, that the current generation has lost the sheen of all good things in life. My point is that, we have learnt to express love more evidently. And, according to me, this had made all the difference.
Now, I was in this world. It seemed really magical for me. Festivity was all in the air. Lot of cheer, music, laughter, fun and love was all around. And, moreover never even once did I feel that I am not one among this big grouping of siblings. All of them were just brothers, sisters and kids than being different individuals themselves. Even though I do admit that I have more brothers and sisters in my life, my parents had only two children; me and my brother. I love to put it this way as I am a person who believes that being a sibling is more than just being born to the same parents. I don’t want to get diverted in my thoughts here and hence let me speak about how it feel to have a sibling. It is always wonderful to be together. On a lighter side, If I had been alone in my growing years, I would not have got the chance to beat-up my brother. I would have had things go my way more times than naught. I would not have had to contend for time doing the many things that we used to do to occupy our time. However, as much as I used to consider this as childhood fun, the reality is that I would not be who I am today without him. I always thank god for having given such a wonderful brother for me. Also I had not been so supportive of the bigger count (like seven or six) ; courtesy my experiences with my uncles and aunts.
And, here I see the picture all different. The boundlessly varied feelings, those small bursts of laughter which had travelled miles altogether to meet each other, the special bonds between the next generation of kids, all were different. A realization of that much needed care and warmth that we all feel in this faster world of today, flashed in my mind and I learned through my experience of those moments that the best thing we can give to ourselves in this life of rat race is to spend time with our family.
In fact, I would probably only vaguely remember parts of my childhood if it weren’t for my brother. Now, here I see a multitude of this feeling. There are brothers and sisters all around. There are nephews and nieces all around. May be because of this century and because of the more free world around us, I couldn’t see any big-bully brother of mommy-ish sister who were trying to execute commands on the younger lot. My daughter, who is just over one, had been playing with the eldest couple from Mumbai and with their kids (again the eldest among the cousins) and also with the little sweet-heart who was very much a centre of cheer and exuberance. I see here, that generations are enjoying the moments of togetherness. Maybe all do realize that from the very next day of week, this will fall back as a beautiful memory and the world around will change us back to the seasoned traveler. There were no highs and lows in these days, there were no you and me and it was like a picture perfect time of re-union. I think the difference is not just because of the generation change, but also mainly due to the expression of care and warmth which our generation has learnt to practice. I always felt that our previous generation had been misers when it came to expressing love and we have changed for good. A simple example would be that we were never permitted to draw on walls but now, we do enjoy drawing on the walls with our kids. A simple, but much welcome change in our way of looking at life.
While I drove back to the city and during all these days while I had been thinking about these beautiful days, I felt happy to have joined this blessed family’s get together. I re-iterated in my thoughts that the bond between siblings is the most enduring bond that we can experience, the bond which may not be as demanding and critical as that of our parents, children or spouse and this is potentially the longest relationship we will ever have in life. But, the bond that is shared with our siblings helps us to determine the quality of bond we will experience with our other relationships in life. In this world of ‘no time’ to ‘stand and stare’, I think the biggest blessing one can receive from God is to have a wonderful family who can be together in simple moments of life. Moreover, I stand corrected, the bigger the family is, bigger is the love and warmth around and bigger is the blessings in life!!
It is an incredible thing to be able to be there for a sibling in their time of need. It is all the more incredible to be able to celebrate the joys in the lives of your siblings: graduations, weddings, and the birth of children, communions are joyous times in the life of the family that brings you closer together. Siblings are a part of us. If we allow them to continue to be a part of our life, they can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and a conscience that knows us almost as well as we know ourselves.
So, can we afford to stand and meet our Brother or Sister, at every turn of our life’s journey? If yes, I think we are making a definite difference to the life of people around us. The more is the love around us. The more is the happiness inside us. Next question is, will we be able to hand over this warmth of togetherness to the next generation? We better be, or we will lose a generation! Kendall Hailey had put it right “The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you"
